We Have To What?
by bakasake
Summary: ...Being away for many years caused me to have feelings that in your presence would not exist. But the deja vu Sasuke was experiencing was not complete Sakura did not cry.
1. Part 1: Ch 1: After Seven Years

**AN:** Hello, hello! It's been a little while, and I just wanted to run through all my chapters before completing the next installment (yes, it's actually under construction at the moment!). I noticed many things that to my now jaded eye really annoyed me. So some things have been twisted around, and it's not a very big deal, but I just want some things to flow more easily/possibly include more background. No idea what I'm talking about, but BOMBS AWAY!

Disclaimer….do we have to do this?

We Have To _What_?

**Chapter One: **_In__ Which We Learn What's Been Happening the Last Seven Years in a Brief Summary_

_Or_

_Setting the Stage_

Sakura arrived at the red Konoha bridge, a landmark laden with both pleasant and grim memories, relating to the life she used to lead along with the rest of Team 7. She had been asked to meet here with Kakashi at five, which was not an unusual request. He probably had a mission lined up that he was either leaving immediately for, or would in the morning. If it was the latter, they would race to the nearest bar to get plastered. However, as her sandals made the familiar _clack_ over the wooden bridge, she saw with mild surprise that there was someone already waiting there.

Sasuke Uchiha leaned against the railing, arms crossed against his chest, glaring menacingly at the water flowing underneath him. Sakura was struck with nervousness. Not the silly, girlish anxiety she had had around him; that had been long gone. No, this was the stress of waiting for their famously-late ex-sensei with a boy she was a little less than friendly with, especially one with whom she hadn't spoken to or laid eyes on in years. She disliked awkward silences almost as she disliked eggplants, and was simply nervous about entering a situation sure to be fraught with discomfort.

She knew Sasuke could feel her presence—had probably felt it long before she had even approached the bridge—and the fact that he chose to ignore it altogether allowed her the ease of ignoring him as well. She didn't have to greet him, or even acknowledge him; she hadn't since they were twelve years old, anyway. Sasuke was a stranger to her, and her to him. They didn't know each other, and it was fine with Sakura if they never did.

For an hour and then some, both ninja stared at the water from opposite sides of the bride. Neither recognizing that merely steps away there was another being. From her peripheral vision, she could see him, looking almost exactly as he had the last time she'd seen him, seven years ago. Unlike Naruto, who had changed into a heartthrob as he grew, greatly resembling the late Fourth Hokage, Sasuke had always been attractive and just grew older. His hair may have been longer, she couldn't really tell, and he was taller, but besides those two things, there was barely anything different about him. Of course, like everyone who grows, he lost the baby fat in his face, and she assumed his muscles were well defined from a shinobi life. Nothing extraordinary about him. Why was I attracted to him again? Maybe because he had looked like this from a young age and at the time it was appealing. Now…just familiarity. There wasn't anything special about Sasuke anymore.

"Yo," she heard off to her right, and her head snapped up from its reverie. The owner of the voice was none other than Kakashi, her previous sensei and pervert extraordinaire. His silver hair sprung, much like Naruto's, from his headband, which was crooked in order to hide his Sharingan eye. The infamous mask was up, of course, covering his still-mysterious face.

Since the days of Sasuke's departure, she had grown extremely close to Kakashi. Not to say she and Naruto weren't, but after having his head smacked enough times, he soon discovered, to his disbelieving joy, Hinata's feelings for him. They had quickly taken up a relationship, much to Sakura's relief. So it was only presumable that the last two members of Team 7 would spend time together.

Kakashi wasn't bothered by Sakura, and let her tag along with him to various social functions he attended. Not that there were many. A few times, rumors had cropped up of the couple's imaginary, yet apparently quite risque, affair. Sakura had quickly doused the gossip flames with her newly enhanced (courtesy of Tsunade's training) chakra punches and kicks. Kakashi was like an elder brother she'd never had, being an only child. A good-looking, flirtatious, older brother, but one all the same.

They trained together, and occasionally Sakura managed to surprise Kakashi with her inhuman strength. Usually though, and luckily, the fatal blows rained upon his doppelgangers. Still, when she did manage to get a hit in, he was out of it for a few hours. Which made him train harder so he wouldn't get hit, which made her train harder in order to hit. A chain reaction of benefit for both. When they weren't training, Kakashi would typically read his obscene manga while Sakura lay quietly nearby, soaking in the comfortable silence of companionship.

As she got older and increasingly attractive to the male population, Kakashi included, he began bringing her around with his group of friends to popular bars or clubs they attended, usually showing her off as one would show off a new pet. Another man to become attached to her was Genma, Kakashi's sidekick of sorts. The lady's man always had some honeyed words saved especially for Sakura while she tried not to laugh at his outrageous come-ons. Of course, sometimes he got a bit carried away with his hands and Sakura had to remind him that she was capable of punching a hole through his body, heal it, and then do it again. Genma usually cooled down after that. Sometimes Genma joined in with their training, thought it was usually to watch them lazily and make leering remarks at Sakura.

Though Sakura had many friends, most of the ones she'd grown up with were paired off and made her feel like an extra wheel. Sure, she'd had her fair share of dates. But nothing lasted too long, and definitely didn't get too serious; the guys she happened to date usually bored her to tears. Thus, she tended to stick to her close-knit trio of Kakashi and Genma, and the two older, attractive perverts were enough to satisfy her companionship needs. And to boost her ego, of course.

Sakura had been content while Sasuke was gone. Having him out of her life made everything much more simple and easy to enjoy. Even when he returned and made no attempt to speak with her, or even tell her himself that he was back, she found she no longer gave a shit. It was much more fun without him weighing her down.

_Hn_, Sasuke observed. _Usually she would've jumped me by now. _Though the Uchiha was immensely relieved, a tiny part that he didn't recognize was a little bit peeved. But almost immediately it was squashed by the larger, smarter part.

He was still a little troubled. He had been brought back by Naruto almost two years ago, barely alive after the last stand against Itachi. The sterile, disgusting hospital smell had filled his nasal cavities for a good month before he was deemed stable. During his entire hospital stay, he had had a slew of visitors. Naruto came every day to check on his favorite rival, who had been on death's door mat when the blonde first brought him in.

Kakashi had stopped in a few times, the first time smacking him on the back of the head. Each visit he brought in his perverted orange books, and every time the offending literature was offered to Sasuke, who rejected them violently. When asked why he offered his favorite reading to Sasuke, the masked man merely shrugged and said, "I just know that if I was in..._here_," Apparently he deigned the hospital to be unworthy of a name, "I'd wish someone would offer _me_ Icha Icha," He sniffed at the slight snub he received by no one extending to him such a condolence.

Out of all the people that came to celebrate his return and death of Itachi, there was a certain pink haired girl he realized he sorely missed. After five years on his lonesome, no one caring around him, a revelation came to him. He _missed _Konoha.

He _missed_ the waste of ninja that was Naruto.

He _missed_ his perverted, yet caring sensei.

...And most of all, he _missed_ the annoying girl who had cried for him.

As much as he would never admit it, Sakura had become dear to him. Her mere presence, he was shocked to find, was a craving he could barely ignore. All those silent nights that he was left to be tortured by his memories, he constantly drifted into the night of his departure. Sakura pleading with him, and he, cold bastard that he was, dismissed her. As per usual. Oh, yeah, then he knocked her out. And left her on a bench where god-knows-what could've happened to her. Smooth, Sasuke. Real smooth.

He didn't know what he was expecting. Did he really think she would be ecstatic to see him again? Well...yes. Her constant attentions towards him, though annoying at the time, had become a thing of habit. Having them dissipate would be...quite disappointing.

With dampened spirits, he wasted away the last of his hospital days by thinking about Sakura. And hating his thoughts. Of her soft, pearlescent pink tresses that framed her face, of her wide, shimmering eyes of deep emerald, constantly watching him in a gentle, loving manner. He was incessantly slugging his inner self that was infatuated with the pink kunoichi. Yet, his eyes remained trained on the door, holding his breath for the tell-tale sign of rosy locks passing into the room's entrance.

Really, as he lay in his hospital bed waiting for her and knowing in some part of his mind that she would not come, he couldn't blame her. But yet again, the larger, "smarter" part of his mind was angry. Oh sure, she _loved_ him. His brother had "loved" him too, he realized bitterly. How did the rest of the story go? He killed their family. If that wasn't a sign of brotherly affection, he didn't know what is. In his rejected state, he figured she was no different from Itachi. She had never really loved him, he convinced himself. All she was capable of was hurting him.

When Sasuke was discharged from the hospital, he had recovered from his recent lapse of having emotion, and willed himself to be colder, more emotionless, than before he realized his feelings for Sakura. The undesired emotions were pushed down…far, far down in a deep, dark, dank place that Sasuke did not like to dwell in for long periods of time. In here he kept locked away the memories of his family's massacre, and his time with Orochimaru. Everything relating to Sakura was thrown down there as well.

He never showed it, but every time he went for a drink with Naruto after a mission he would subconsciously search the crowd for a glimpse of a certain ex-teammate. After he realized what he was doing and who he was looking for, he immediately quit. But each time he fell away from the conversation, the hunt would begin anew.

If, by chance, he did catch a snippet of the strawberry color, he would intensely wait for the rest of her to come into his view. But the hair was always leaving by the time he found it. After five years, he had no idea what she looked like. But from the rather obscene descriptions he would receive from the other male nin (it turned out Sakura was now quite a hot topic among the men of Konoha), he deduced she looked nothing like she had when she was twelve to earn so much attention. He managed to assure himself that he was not interested in her. No, no, _not_ interested at all. Just curious to see what his former teammate would look like after so many years apart. It had nothing to do with the fact that the village's boys were captivated with her and it completely frustrated him.

It had nothing to do with the fact that she was a jounin under Tsunade while he was still a mere genin.

It had nothing to do with the fact that it was widely rumored she was more powerful than the Hokage herself.

It had nothing to do with the fact that she seemed unusually close with two older men who were perverts.

It had nothing to do with the fact that he got immensely pissed with whoever was speaking and himself whenever she was mentioned.

It had nothing to do with the men she had apparently dated boasting of their triumphs.

It had nothing to do with those facts at all.

Six months of these bar jaunts did nothing to settle his curiosity or have her finally in his company. So, like the cold-hearted bastard he believed he was, he finally tore down from his mind any thoughts pertaining to the shocking cacophony of color that was Haruno Sakura. He fully threw himself into missions, and after a year and a half of nothing but steady work, he felt nothing for the girl. Sasuke had drilled it into his skull that she was the same annoying wench that she had been seven years ago. And he damn well wanted to believe it.

But there was no denying, he realized, watching her from the corner of his eye slink up to the bridge, she definitely didn't _look_ like that same wench.

"Kakashi, you were supposed to meet us here an **hour** ago," the strawberry-haired girl emphasized. "What's your sorry excuse this time?"

"Sakura! It's so nice to see you, too," He said in an overly-excited tone, and pulled his former student into a bear hug. She sighed, and patted his back.

"Some things never change, I guess," she said in fake-frustration. "Always avoiding that question,"

Kakashi held her at arm's length and frowned.

"Now, now, Sakura, I do have a good reason this time," He paused, and Sakura looked skeptical. "I was traveling down the road of life, frequented by various wandering souls like myself, and there happened to be a glitch in the space-time continuum and I had to-"

"Alright, alright," Sakura held up her hands. "I yield," she dramatically sighed. Kakashi chuckled, and his gaze settled on the dark-haired boy who rested against the bridge's railing.

"Hey, when did you get taller?" the silver-haired man cocked his head and smiled under his mask. Sasuke made a non-committal noise in his throat and Kakashi smirked.

"Talkative as always, I see," He remarked wryly, his eye creasing into the folds of the well-worn laugh lines surrounding it.

"So Kashi-kun, what's your mission this time?" Sakura queried.

"Ah, yes," the tall jounin cleared his throat. "Well, it's not _my _mission as it were. This is a job for the two of you!" Kakashi beamed down to them. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"If it's including a genin, then why would I be his babysitter?" It was clear that Sasuke was being discussed, and Sakura had no qualms letting a hint of smugness creep into her voice during the mention of his rank. Sasuke said nothing.

"Ah, ranks are simply titles. However, the Hokage feels that your combined skills will be essential in completing this mission. It has been noticed that many ninja entering the Water Country haven't come back. Including some Konoha nin. There's reason to believe that Kirigakure is involved in some way, and we needed some higher level ninja acting as spies. However, in regard to ranks, you two were the ones most qualified...at least of those who weren't already on a mission," He teased. "It's an A ranked mission, and possibly may be upgraded or degraded a rank or two depending on reports coming in. And since you're to act as spies, we'll get you into the country on your honeymoon-"

"What?" Sasuke finally spoke, in a low, dangerous monotone that had been well-honed over the years.

Kakashi smirked. "Ah, yes, for this mission, you two will be posing as newlyweds...and we're having you two really tie the knot before you leave. The hidden mist ninjas are known to be thorough when they have suspicions, and it would be safer for your record to announce that you are legally married. Tsunade is going to publicize the wedding two days from now, and in a week, you'll have your wedding and be off on your merry way," He eyed both of them.

"That's another reason why you two were chosen for this mission. No one will think it so strange that you two married. I mean, you're not quite strangers," Kakashi waited, sure to hear Sakura begin to scream and throw things. He could tell Sasuke was thinking the same. When their ear drums were not broken, and the bridge was not split in too, Sasuke had evident surprise on his face, although it was gone within a moment. However, Kakashi berated himself for thinking so poorly of her. Sakura was almost nothing like the girl Sasuke used to be familiar with.

Kakashi remembered the first time he had sparred with Sakura since she'd begun learning under Tsunade...

* * *

"_Fight me, Kakashi," came a quiet, yet assertive voice heard clearly by the older jounin. Kakashi looked up from behind his infamous book to stare blankly at the young girl confronting him. Noticing her use of just his first name, he wondered what had gotten into her. Shrugging, he carefully folded the page down and set the book down. _

"_What brought this about, Sakura?" He asked with mild interest. If she wanted to spar, he'd have no __reservations__. Immediately, Sakura brought herself into a fighting stance. _

"_Just don't go easy on me," she said in that same tone, ignoring his question. Sighing, Kakashi rolled his head to crack his neck in preparation. Then, settling into his own position, he looked expectantly at her, waiting for the kunoichi to make the first move. Inwardly, Kakashi knew he __would have to keep a restraint on himself. __If he went all out against Sakura, who knew when she would return to consciousness; or if she would be in enough pieces to do so._

_While he was thinking this, he noticed Sakura had disappeared. Momentarily distracted, he raised his awareness to perceive where her chakra was...there! Kakashi blocked the kick that had been sent for his head with his wrist. Twisting his wrist so that her sandaled foot was now in the palm of his hand, he __easily threw her __away. She managed to hit the ground with her hands and do a make-shift front handspring into a crouched form. Again, she vanished. Warily, Kakashi cast an eye around, searching his surroundings. A moment later, another solid attack to his upper body. The silver-haired ninja managed to lean back while Sakura quickly pulled her punch back from its unsuccessful assault. _

_In his bent position, Kakashi managed an easy and light kick to her mid-section that earned him a grunt and a pink whirl fly backwards. Sakura let out a harsh l__augh from her place in the dirt before vanishing in a puff of smoke. _

"_Kakashi...I said _don't_ take me lightly," As soon as the words left her mouth, Kakashi realized they had come from the vicinity of his left ear. Turning to his left in surprise, he heard a w__hoosh on his right. What felt like a sheet of __rock solidly connected with his skull. Cursing his stupidity, he was on the ground by the time he blinked. His vision was growing fuzzy and dark, and there must've bee__n water in his ears to clog them so fully__. Despite that,__ he could still make out a form, distinct from the pink mop,__ standing above him. _

"_After you get out of the hospital...maybe we can try this again if you will actually fight me full-on. We don't want a rumor to get around that the great Copy-Nin was beat by a mere medic..." And the world around him faded. _

* * *

"It's actually quite perfect that this happened in the Water Country," Kakashi continued without pause, as the whole memory in his head had only taken a moment to replay. "With its beaches, it's the norm for a couple to honeymoon there. We've rented a couple's cottage, equipped with its own private beach," he winked suggestively. "And the beach has been secured. The path leading to it could be spied upon and listened to, but once you're on the sand itself, there's a sound block," He shook his head, "Amazing that they could soundproof a beach...anyway, every week or so, I'll meet you two in the unisex hot spring just outside of Takagara, the town in which you'll be staying,"

"Unisex?" Sakura repeated with a raised brow.

"Sure," Kakashi shrugged. "I have to get some form of entertainment from this," Sakura rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to sock her silver-haired friend. "Pervert," She muttered.

Then silence reigned and crickets chirped.

"Well, I guess that's about it," Kakashi finished cheerfully. He glanced down at his watch-less wrist, then back at the thoughtful face of Sakura, and the still impassive demeanor of Sasuke. He knew things were less than friendly between the two; they hadn't uttered a word to each other since the fateful night Sasuke left Konoha.

"So..." Kakashi searched for a change of subject. "...what're you doing tonight?" He smoothly brought up, and looked pointedly at Sakura. "All that talking made me hungry. I was meeting up with Genma tonight, but I'm sure he wouldn't deny his favorite cherry blossom a seat at our table,"

Both older men did so enjoy the company of the pretty, young kunoichi on their nights out. It made them feel young...and with their years beginning to add up, it was a feeling they desperately needed. Plus, after getting one of these missions, he knew Sakura needed it too. The pink-haired girl faked a smile.

"Sorry, Kakashi. I have some to take care of some things. But it sure breaks my heart to think of you two geezers drinking on your lonesome," She smirked at Kakashi's mock-horror. "But I'm sure Genma will be able to round up some minors to keep you company," She ended innocently enough. She gave him a quick hug and peck on the cheek, ignored Sasuke, and disappeared in a quick _poof!_ Kakashi watched her leave, and when she was out of sight, turned back to the silent boy.

"Ouch," he said appreciatively, glad to not be on the other end of Sakura's ignorance. Sasuke made his little grunt that had various meanings, such as: Yes, No, Maybe so, I don't know, I'd rather not, Oh, really? And in this case, Fuck off. Then he stalked away, opposite from Sakura's departure. Kakashi sighed. He'd just have to see how they acted at the actual wedding...oh this would be loads of fun...

Pulling _Icha __Icha_ from his pants pocket, he made his way slowly to the bar where he would meet Genma. Knowing him, there probably _were_ some minors awaiting him. What they would do to feel young...


	2. Part 1: Ch 2: Wedding Preparations

**AN**Again, still under the process of editing and such. Hopefully it will still be as enjoyable as some said it was before .

We Have to _What?_

**Chapter Two**: _In Which Two Are Dragged By Their Best Friends (Albeit The Male of The Two Would Never Admit It) To Shop For Wedding Clothes_

_Or_

_Wedding Preparations I_

Sakura stepped into the bright sunshine that sparkled against the paved Konoha roads. Throwing suspicious looks around her, she threw the hood of her jacket up around her face, and dark sunglasses over her eyes, hoping to hide the obvious characteristics that made her undeniably Haruno Sakura...soon to be Uchiha Sakura.

After Tsunade had made the announcement three days ago, Sakura hid beneath the unflattering cloak to shy away as much of the bombardment as she could when she absolutely had to venture into the bustling city. Apparently buying her wedding outfit certified as an absolute need.

Casually, or as casually as one would hope when dressed is such a way on a beautiful summer day, she made her way down the street, her shaded eyes looking for the shop she was required to meet Ino in.

It was made obvious in which store Ino currently resided; there was a shrill voice, Sakura immediately realized with dread, belonging to none other than her best friend.

Nearing the establishment, the hooded girl cringed with apprehension as she heard several loud crashes. Sighing, she searched for some semblance of inner strength, and willed herself to step through the glass doors.

"Are you _kidding _me? Having her kunoichi of honor wear _red_? Do you have any idea how her hair would clash with that in the wedding pictures!" Sakura flinched as she entered the chaotic wedding boutique, newly astounded at how loudly Ino really could screech.

"Ah, Ino...?" Sakura intervened timidly, a bit afraid that Ino would turn on her next.

"What?" The fair-haired agitator spat as she spun to face this unseen challenge. As soon as she realized it was Sakura, though, she did an attitude about-face.

"Sakura-chan!" She squealed in the perfect imitation of the stereotypical excitement included in the package of being kunoichi of honor. Ino hadn't spoken to Sakura in person yet, and was _dying_ to hear all the juicy little details of her engagement to the object of their childhood rivalry.

To her knowledge, Sasuke and Sakura hadn't as much as seen each other since his return to Konoha...but what happened behind closed doors was anyone's guess. And Ino's money was placed on some steamy nights involved. But she would wait for Sakura to tell her all about it...probably, her cherry blossom friend would love to gloat about how she snagged the Uchiha.

"Ino-chan," Sakura returned her friend's enthusiasm warmly. Since three days ago, she hadn't had anything to keep her mind occupied from the impending doom that was her wedding. Hopefully, a day with Ino would keep her thoughts from it. ...But weren't they shopping for said wedding?

_Ah, dammit..._ Sakura mumbled in her head. _I just can't escape it..._

* * *

It seemed to take hours, and eventually settled into a rhythm. Ino would bring in some sort of robe for her approval, and Sakura would shoot daggers at it. Eventually, Ino would wrestle her into said clothing only to have Sakura see herself in the mirror and spit something vehement.

The pink haired bride-to-be was exhausted, mentally and physically. She was tired of her thoughts revolving around Sasuke all the time, and of her wedding. She was tired of the tangled emotions arising from the pit of her stomach. It just confused her. She was tired of Ino being so damn optimistic about the entire thing. She was _damn_ tired of trying on those horrid robes, all meaning her imminent nuptials. She wished everything had been back to the way it was before...it had been so simple.

A life without Sasuke had always meant simplicity, and that was what Sakura most enjoyed in the absence of his company. Having him around made her think too much. It was nice to let go, to be _free. _But that world was coming to a crashing end around her, and she was positive it wasn't going to crash silently. She resigned herself to the humility this affair would cause her until the damn mission was finished. Those who did not wish her well saw her on the street and whisper: _After all these years, she _would_ be the type to fall right back into his arms. Do you remember how pathetic she was even as a young girl? I suppose he finally did take pity on her…_

Sighing, she reveled in the few moments she had to herself in the changing room. Ino had gone to find another god-awful gown, and would be back in precisely three...two...one-

"Sakura!" Ino sang out, bursting through the door. Sakura forced a feeble smile that came out more like she was baring her teeth. Which would display her feelings more than any other facial gesture. "Now, I know that you haven't thought so highly of the," Ino paused, glancing at the mountain of discarded fabrics steadily increasing in the corner, "others. Really, considering you're going all traditional on this wedding's ass, it should be easy as pie to get a simple robe... But this one, believe me, is absolutely perfect!" Her voice got progressively higher towards the end of her exclamation. Yet who could blame her? Girls get like this over marriage. Sakura only wished she could be well-enough as an actress to at least pretend this excited her.

"Great," She said monotonously, failing any acting classes she had taken as a child. Ino frowned, and placed the hand not holding the new object of scorn on her hip.

"Don't you act like that! You're marrying _Sasuke-kun_. Who could've dreamed of a more perfect match," Her blonde friend sighed happily. "It's your greatest wish come true!"

Sakura twitched. Oblivious to her friend's slight spasms, Ino continued,

"I know you've been kind of tight-lipped about it, and I know you completely appreciate me not sticking my nose into it, but I've been _dying_ to ask. How did he propose?" Ino looked at her devilishly, obviously expecting a romantic, highly angst-y proposal. Sakura chuckled humorlessly. She took a deep breath to prepare herself for the embarrassingly girly display she'd have to use to convince Ino.

"Oh, Ino, it was so _romantic!_" She gushed. Maybe those few classes she_ had _taken did come in handy, as Ino was drinking in every word with a vicarious sort of joy. "We met by the red bridge we used to meet at when we were still apart of Team 7," This part was true. "When he asked me, I was _astonished! _I couldn't speak!" Again, still true. "Then..." She trailed off, having no idea where to bring her tale to. Thankfully, Ino had her own ideas.

"Ah, I get it," She grinned mischievously and winked. The strawberry colored girl relaxed, mentally wiping sweat off her brow. "Now," Ino brought the attention back to the dress, "I'd like for you to _not_ make me pull out my kunai this time..." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"As long as this is the last try," she bartered.

"Oh, if it's not then you're better off going to the ceremony naked!" Her former rival teased. Sakura didn't doubt it as she slipped on the white fabric.

"Good thing my father's dead so I wouldn't give him a heart attack then-"

"Sakura..." Ino looked a little pale and wide-eyed. Sakura twisted her lips in frustration.

"Does this mean I have to go naked?" She asked, resigned to the fate that she'd never find robes when her heart wasn't in it. But, it couldn't hurt to see how she looked. It couldn't be worse than that hideous corpse-bride one...

Sakura stepped in front of the mirror, eyes tightly closed. Expecting the worst, she opened her eyes. And audibly gasped.

The cherry-headed woman had never prided herself on her looks, and could never be as vain as Ino. She didn't think too well of her own appearance, actually, and that was part of the shock: that the traditional, usually plain, white robes looked phenomenal on her.

"Ino," Sakura's voice trembled a bit as she was still entranced with the sight of herself. "I think this might be it..." Ino was zapped from her stupor instantly, pounding her fists in the air in triumph.

"Alright, didn't I tell you, Sakura? This was the perfect one! We'll just need to have it embroidered with your Haruno symbol and it'll be complete! I know that I said red would totally clash with your hair, but since it's white, what other color would suffice? Ooooh, this'll knock Sasuke-kun's socks off! No, his shoes! No, wait, his-" Sakura's thoughts drifted away, not tearing her gaze from the mirror.

_Would Sasuke liked how she looke- _Whoa, whoa, **whoa**, there! Since when did actually caring about what he thought come into play? She just wanted to get it over with...right? Well, he certainly wouldn't be able to ignore her in this...

* * *

"Remind me again, dobe, why we're doing this?" On the other side of town, Naruto was dragging a reluctant Sasuke from his daily brooding to shop for his own wedding attire.

"'Cause Tsunade-baa-chan said that you and Sakura-chan are gettin' married. And you're gonna marry Sakura-chan the right way, teme," Naruto nodded his head to prove his point.

With fleeting amusement, Sasuke vaguely wondered if her father reacted in a similar fashion to the abrupt engagement. He allowed these thoughts to progress; would her parents be attending the ceremony?

A familiar pang echoed in his chest as was customary when such things were brought to mind. He didn't want to have to see her smiling, proud parents walk her down the aisle during the wedding. He didn't want to have her mother crying and her father beaming down at her. It would only serve to increase his bitterness towards her, and to crush more painfully any feelings he may have previously had.

He hadn't noticed Naruto's halt; at least, not until he ran into him.

With a surprised 'oomph', Naruto stumbled forwards a few feet. Sasuke was a mildly surprised; usually he didn't let his thoughts get so far away from him.

"Ay! Watch it, teme!" Naruto growled. Sasuke grunted and looked at the shop Naruto had abruptly stopped at. Seeing Sasuke's trail of sight, Naruto followed and remembered what he had been doing before the bastard so _rudely_ bumped into him.

"Oh, oh! Here's the shop Tsunade-baa-chan said to go to," Naruto brushed past his dark-haired companion and pushed open the tinted glass door. Sasuke followed, arms crossed over chest.

A bell overhead tinkled, announcing their arrival to the shop. Almost immediately and attendant swooped down upon them. She was an older woman with red hair that seemed to have lost a vibrance it may have had long ago. The dusty brown eyes behind horn-rimmed spectacles widened as she inspected her new customers and obviously judged them worth the effort of being a good employee.

"Konnichiwa! My fine, fine, sirs," Her eye twinkled with this. Sasuke struggled not to roll his own. "How may I be of service today?"

"Obaa-chan!" Naruto greeted cheerfully, and the exuberant smile of the woman slipped a couple watts. "Sasuke-teme here's gettin' married to my Sakura-chan, and he needs some good robes. I don't want him messing this up!" For effect, he turned and glared at Sasuke.

The lady slid her eyes to Sasuke's still form and appraised him up and down.

"Size 42," she determined after a few moments like this. With a sharp about-face, she briskly strolled deeper into the recesses of the shop.

Naruto looked uncertainly at his friend, but the other had already begun pursuit.

With a sigh, the blonde jogged to a position in front of Sasuke. He wouldn't walk next to the bastard, but he wouldn't walk behind him either.

"Now, is there a color preference?"

The two young jounin had made it to the back of the store, which had turned out to be incredibly long, if narrow, and found the woman rummaging through several racks and stacks of different formal robes.

Knowing it was a shinobi ceremony, and having to get his crest imprinted on the back, Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but Naruto beat him to the punch.

"Dark-blue, please, obaa-chan," He answered politely with an innocent smile. The woman glared at him. Sasuke sighed. Only five minutes in the place and he had already made enemies.

After a moment or two more, Obaa-chan's hand seemed to have found its mark; she pulled a set of large navy robes from the middle pile.

"Changing rooms straight ahead," She pointed a painted green fingernail to her right, and, with a withering glance at the unsuspecting idiot, quickly stalked off.

Sasuke repressed another sigh as he trudged to the indicated area. He had so many better things to be doing right now. Training, brooding, brooding about how to kill Naruto without anyone knowing it had been him, training, brooding, etc.

...Well, not so much, maybe.

But it was still better than getting an outfit in which to marry that damn Sakura.

Soon enough, Naruto had grown bored and tired of waiting.

"Te-meeee," he whined, pounding on the door pathetically, as if he had just raced Lee 100 laps around Konoha and was now knocking on death's door. "You've been in there for _days. _Hurry uuuuuuuup,".

A tick began rhythmically in Sasuke's jaw. That annoying voice...how much he wanted to strangle it...

They bought the robes and were on their way fairly shortly after that. Naruto had yelled goodbye to Obaa-chan, only to be met with a shoe squarely at his jaw. Unawares, it had connected.

"Argh, damn, Obaa-chan sure had a good shot..." Sasuke tuned out the Kyuubi container's incessant complaints. There were other things this wedding called for. He needed at least one Host, if not two. Of course, Sakura would have her parents, but him?

Who had been his teacher, been someone he could always depend on to come through for him? Someone who was possibly like a father-figure, albeit a perverse one...

"Oi! Kakashi-sensei!"


	3. The Author's Profuse Apology Please Read

Don't worry!!! I'm not telling you that this story is being discontinued. Because its not .

And I can't imagine how angry people are, thinking that the next chapter was actually up...-.-;; I know I would be vehement. As Of: 1/21/07: Well, I tried putting this in my info, but it was too damn long. So here's the original message from the author to everyone she's upset by not updating in a milllenium or something:

Uh oh, I've been getting increasing reports hinting that I should update. Well, not really. More like outright yelling UPDATE ! Unfortunately, even though my band season is over, the indoor season started, finals are in a week (that I won't study for anyway and then wonder why I failed), and, umm, the computer the new chapters were saved on has a shattered screen . ;; Blame my brother, not me. I just instigated the incident, he threw the car...I mean...um. Yeah. So no fear! I am as hypocritical and lazy as ever, and I'm pretty sure the 3rd chapter is almost finished, as soon as we get the computer fixed...and yes, I could definitely write it anyway from one of the other many computers laying around my casa. But alas, I really liked (no, I probably didn't like it all that much) what I wrote, and trying to re-write it would not bear fruitition (AKA I'm mad lazy). So even though I bitch and moan about other people not updating for months and years and decades (hopefully it won't be that long, but I was born into a family of procrastinators -.-;; ), I am just B as bad. But no worries, the story is stored somewhere in my brain and on various bits of paper that are probably in a landfill somewhere. I'm willing to go dumpster diving once my computer is up and running if I can't remember how the story is supposed to go, (I wish somone had told me earlier in my life not to make empty promises -.-;; ), but I highly doubt that is the situation. It's all up her taps cranial lobe somewhere. I just gotta find it. Now, if this message wasn't as confusing and repetitive as it seems to me, then hopefully you'll stick around a little longer for this story to be updated. That's usually my problem. I never can get my thoughts straight, so I usually repeat things and place them out of order. My brain sucks. Just like my english essays -.-;; So, (and I've tried ending this several times already, but like my brain works, there's always something else to add, and I'm too lazy to go back and backspace it or reorganize my thoughts. 's too much work -.-;; (and that's about the 902348th time I've used that face in this blurb alone -.-;; ), all I ask is for your patience (I kill myself with hypocrisy, I'm so damn impatient!) and that you put "We Have to What?!?!?!" (oh man, I gotta go soon because I just had a brain blast like Greg House on House, MD (LOVE LOVE LOVE) about one of the last chapters of the story, and I have to write it down in less than 2 minutes because I'll totally and utterly forget it; but at least you know I'm constantly thinking about the story (that's another lie, I haven't thought about this thing in the last 4 months.) on your (yes, I'm still continuing the sentence from 85 lines before because my mind goes in 30948245 directions at once and I want to get it all down) Story Alert jawn so in 390 years when you check your futuristic email from your watch (and by then the fan base will be all around the world ...wishful thinking) and see that I finally updated the next chapter, you can let out a whoop to shake the heavens. So never fear! (again with thinking it was over) The story has yet to be completed!! Wait for the next exciting installment of "We Have to What?!?!" crickets chirp (yes, wait for another 342 years).

Oh, and this will be deleted to make room for the real chapter, whenever that is. . Or actually, I may want to keep it forever as a memory of what not to do with a story -.-;;


	4. Part 1: Ch 3: Hosts FINALLY

AN: Not much to do in this one, but I just thought it would be a nice idea to finish them all.

We Have to_ What?_

**Chapter Three:** _Acquiring of the Honored Proffers of Uchiha Sasuke (Who Has Quite __A__ Difficult Time With This) and Haruno Sakura (Whose In Comparison Is Frankly Easy)_

_O__r_

_Hosts_

Sakura and Ino crossed the boulevard between the two shops; one for clothing and another for foot apparel. Sakura inwardly groaned. Just what she needed. Another excuse for Ino to come at her with a sharp weapon; the heel of a...heel.

After scaring a few attendants off with glares of pure hatred, Ino eventually decided to cut their losses and grab some simple white sandals to match her robes. Sakura thanked the gods that had previously neglected her when she was wrangled into this arrangement for sparing her some blood, sweat, and tears this time around.

Determining she was famished after all the shopping done today, Ino led her incredulous gal-pal to a nearby café. She plopped herself down at one of the outdoor tables, shaded by a brightly colored umbrella that rippled in the light breeze. Sakura followed her, still shaking her head, and managed to sit down with a bit more grace.

She hoped that now, with the obtaining of necessary wedding equipment finished, they'd be able to just sit and chat about things **not **pertaining to the looming marital ceremony.

Sadly, she had a snowball's chance in hell for Ino to speak of anything but.

"So, fore-head, who're you going to have as your hosts?" Ino tried to be casual, knowing it might be a little painful for Sakura.

After scowling at the mention of her old nickname, she registered the rest of her question. Who _would _be her hosts?

"If you needed," Ino hesitated, reluctant to go on, "my parents could always fill in. I know they think of you as a daughter anyway," she added hastily, as anxious to Sakura's reaction as Sakura had been earlier that morning when she'd entered the shop.

Surprisingly, instead of lashing out at the suggestion of anything that could be considered pity in the wrong light, she turned thoughtful.

"I...hadn't really...thought about it," she confessed. Ino visibly relaxed her shoulders that had been crowding around her ears in tension.

"If it had to be anyone, it would be Kakashi and Genma," she looked up at her blonde friend apologetically, "not that your parents wouldn't be fine as well, but..." the pink haired woman seemed reluctant to elaborate. Eagerly, Ino nodded her understanding.

"Please, please, it's fine," she waved it off. "I'm sure they'd be just as proud from the audience,". They sat in comfortable silence for a minute.

"Who's Sasuke going to have, though?"

* * *

Sakura literally flew across the rooftops in her haste to find and procure Kakashi for her wedding; to be one of her hosts. The moment the words flew from Ino's cotton-candy glossed lips, Sakura knew she had to reach her ex-sensei first. Who else would Sasuke turn to but their lazy, perverted mentor from years past? Why hadn't she realized this sooner?

Knowing Sasuke, he probably had already spoken with the silver-haired jounin and gotten him as a host. Sakura cursed herself for letting so much time elapse in which she should have asked him.

Sure, if her fiancé _did_ get Kakashi, she'd always ask Genma and make do with one host. But this was her _wedding_. And she wanted the most important people in her life to be the ones giving her away...even if it were only for a mission.

Of course, Naruto and Ino were two more of the people nearest and dearest to her heart, but Ino was already set up to be her kunoichi of honor, and Naruto was surefire to be Sasuke's best ninja.

With no parents, it was only natural to want to the older men as her Honored Proffers, them being older and more like father figures than she would ever admit.

Simply, she loved them.

While journeying, the noise level had gradually decreased as she reached the quieter areas on the outskirts of Konoha. Kakashi liked his home away from the usual bustle of the inner-village, preferring a medium-sized house with a spacious backyard where he could lounge in his hammock and read Icha-Icha in peace.

It didn't take Sakura by surprise that he was in fact in that very hammock at the moment, swinging gently while intensely staring at the pages of Icha Icha Paradise #4. There must have been something fairly attention-grabbing happening, as he didn't seem to register her when she dropped onto his roof like a sly cat on all fours.

She prowled to the edge of the red tiles and dropped lightly to the ground below. If Kakashi noticed her, he didn't show it.

She crept up behind him and glanced at the current page. She almost gagged at the graphic pictures, but quickly scanned the words to get the gist of it. Right as Kakashi was going to draw the page, she drew a large breath.

"No, Junko, no!" She squealed. As expected, (but still no less disappointing for Sakura), Kakashi only flicked his one eye up to Sakura's stricken face and returned to his book.

Sakura pouted. With exaggerated steps, she came around the side of the hammock and glared down at the unfazed older man.

"What a nice way to greet your most favorite person in the entire world," She complained childishly, arms crossed over chest and lower lip pulled out like a sock drawer. Kakashi sighed, and marked the page by folding over a tiny corner at the top. He set it on the ground next to them and squinted up at 'his most favorite person in the entire world'.

"Yes?" Interrupting an imperative reading and relaxing (R&R) session of Kakashi's would end in Thousand Years of Pains for any other intruders, but this was his Sakura-chan. He could never stick his fingers up her ass and fling her hundreds of meters away. If he did, he wouldn't even find his name on the memorial stone he liked to frequent so often.

Sakura sighed. If Sasuke had previously asked him, she may as well get her impending dissatisfaction over with.

"Kashi-kuuuun, I want you to be one my hosts for my wedding," She cooed. Even if Sasuke had obtained him, maybe her cuteness would overturn the previous arrangement.

Kakashi blinked.

"Of course, Sakura-chan," he replied gently and without hesitation, his eye crinkling into the visible form of his smile. Sakura squeaked in happiness, and threw her arms around his neck in an ecstatic embrace. Kakashi patted her arm tenderly, until she had composed herself enough to let him breathe.

"Oh, good, I was so worried Sasuke had already spoken with you-"

"Sasuke?" Kakashi's brow furrowed lightly.

"Yeah, Ino-chan was saying that the bastard may try to get you as his host but that is completely out of the question! I mean, sure, I also have Genma-kun, but-"

"Sakura," Kakashi cut her off mid-rant. She closed her mouth and looked at him meekly. "Who is Sasuke supposed to have then?"

For a moment, Sakura felt a flash of guilt. She had only been thinking of herself, of getting the two she wanted. What about Sasuke? Who else could he have?

But then anger immediately engulfed the guilt as if it had been poured upon with gasoline.

Why should she care? If he wanted to go flounce around with Orochimaru for five years instead of making ties with other ninja in his village, it was his own damn fault. And if he thought that he deserved Kakashi more than _she_ because of his tragic little past, he was the one who-

Her chest caught when she realized the destination her train of thought was headed towards. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, locking the memories tightly away that threatened to overflow their container. When she was composed, she opened one eye to see Kakashi gazing intently at her.

"Sakura?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yes, Kakashi?" She was calm and collected now, and had forgotten his previous question.

Deciding not to press the matters further, Kakashi let it slide.

"So," he drawled casually, propping himself up on one elbow on the swinging apparatus, "what, pray tell, do I have to do to be one of the Honored Proffers of Haruno Sakura?"

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically from across the way. Kakashi, who had obviously been trying to be inconspicuous, failed in doing so and, with a look of defeat evident from even the flash of skin provided, moseyed over.

"Naruto. Sasuke," He nodded to each. Sasuke gave merely a 'Hn' and Naruto beamed happily at him. At the age of nineteen, the blonde was almost, _almost_ as tall as his ex-sensei. Kakashi's hair gave him extra height and he was thankful he was still the tallest man in Konoha. It was a bit of a pride thing, really, and one of the last he had to his name.

"Sensei! Sensei!" Naruto was now bouncing off the balls of his feet in excitement. Kakashi's mask hid a small smirk of amusement at his continuous child-like behavior even after seven years. The kyuubi vessel rambled on about some adventure he'd had at Ichiraku, and his older companion found his attention and gaze slide to the black-haired man next to him.

While Naruto had been the shortest of the three when they were Team 7, Sasuke now found himself taller than Sakura by a hair. Still, it didn't do much to decrease his other intimidating features, such as his cold, hard gaze, and the set line of his jaw.

Now, though, he just seemed bored with the conversation Naruto was holding with...himself, since Kakashi had long since tuned him out.

Finally, it seemed the blonde ninja's narration had petered out, ending in a desire for ramen. He dashed ahead, leaving the pair behind.

Sasuke glanced up at his elder, wondering if he should ask now. This would be nothing short of mortifying, and he may as well get it over with.

"Kakashi," He started a bit hesitantly and paused, feeling out of place as the one starting a conversation. In acknowledgment, Kakashi looked at the Uchiha heir. Sasuke plunged on.

"Would you be my Host?" Sasuke looked away, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks. Feeling the slight heat, he willed it away. Uchiha do _not_ But in a normal situation, they don't ask favors either. Unfortunately, Sasuke was failing as the sole heir to his family in more ways than one.

Kakashi didn't look enervated; Sasuke would have been surprised if he had been. He merely shrugged.

"Sorry, Sakura's already beat you to it," He brought the porn back up to his face and indulged himself in it. Sasuke's brow furrowed. What? She had parents; they were cheerful villagers who completely supported their only child even though they were non-shinobi. Sasuke had met them once or twice, and in his bitterness treated them indifferently and rudely;

The teacher and his two students had been getting together for an impromptu training session and needed to retrieve Sakura. Kakashi dispatched them to execute the task, preferring to read his smut.

The Haruno pair had warmly received them. Her mother was young, probably only thirty or so. Her face was unlined and pretty; her hair was strawberry blonde. The Haruno patriarch was about the height and age of Kakashi, with nondescript brown eyes and hair. Still, he was kind and loving to both his daughter and wife, who returned the affection.

Of course, the boys were invited in and doted upon. They both fell in love immediately with Naruto, and though Sasuke was standoffish, it didn't stop Sakura's mother from ruffling his hair and giving him a bento box for lunch.

They were ideal parents; it was no wonder Sakura seemed joyous all the time, even when she was rejected by Sasuke.

…But why would she choose Kakashi as her Host, over them?

His face must have betrayed his bewilderment, for Kakashi halted their slow pace and used his one eye to seemingly pierce the youth's thoughts.

"Her parents are dead," He offered simply, and continued his stroll.

Sasuke stayed rooted to the spot. Dead? He took longer steps to keep up with his mentor whose large stride had him already several steps ahead.

"Explain," he spat when he was next to the taller ninja. Knowing the younger man would not let it go, Kakashi sighed and folded the corner of the page to mark its place. Too many interruptions today to fully enjoy his book.

Hands stuffed in deep pockets and usual stylish slouch in place, Kakashi debated telling the boy everything.

"You'd been gone for about two years. Sakura was pretty much over your betrayal and was finally starting to come free from the shadow your departure left over her. Naruto was also gone, training with Jiraiya-sama. Did you get any news while you were with Orochimaru?" The eye that had been studying the clouds in an imitation of Shikamaru now fixated on Sasuke. Brow still creased; he slowly shook his head.

Times with the snake Sannin...he'd rather not remember them. Opening the lid of his painful memories was dangerous; it could damage him beyond repair to face them.

"Then you wouldn't have heard. There was...an attack. Itachi," Kakashi said flatly. Sasuke's eyes widened. Kakashi decided he didn't need to know the entire truth.

"Sakura's house was targeted. Being near the Konoha gates, it's probable he just chose a house at random and assaulted. Luckily, Sakura was spending the night at a friend's house..." Kakashi's voice trailed off. Sasuke realized he was silently shaking in fury.

"_He_ killed them...goddammit!" Sasuke grabbed his head. If only he hadn't been so weak before, if only he could have killed him sooner...Sakura wouldn't have had to suffer like he had.

Kakashi placed a large gloved hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Don't blame yourself. Sakura already did enough of that for everyone in the village," Kakashi ended bitterly.

_Maybe it is better if you don't know the entirety of the story..._

He withdrew the comforting hand and vanished in a whirlwind of smoke, leaving Sasuke with two problems; how to regard Sakura now, and still who to be his host.

* * *

"I dunno, Sakura-chan, weddings aren't really my thing. I had promised myself if I ever was in one, it would be when I married you," Genma flashed a toothy grin, enhanced by the needle perched between his teeth. Sakura sighed. How trying was this man...

"C'mon, Genma-kun," Sakura gave him puppy eyes and pouting lips. "You know, there are some favors I could do for you," She waggled her eyebrows suggestively while Genma laughed and Kakashi groaned.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, don't encourage his habits," Kakashi rubbed his temples to get the image of Sakura trying to be seductive out of his mind. It was something never meant to be seen...unless she was seducing him, of course.

Sakura sighed again and flopped back into her seat.

She had dragged Kakashi along in her attempts to persuade Genma to become one of her hosts. The senbon-fixated man was adamant in his resolve that he wouldn't attend a wedding unless he was the one who got to kiss the bride. And the only bride for Genma was Sakura.

Genma scooted his chair closer to the cherry blossom and placed an arm around her delicate shoulders.

"You know, for anyone else, like this character here," he jabbed his thumb at Kakashi who was sitting across the table and glaring menacingly at his friend, "I wouldn't even think of going to the ceremony, much less being a part of it. But for you," his other hand came up to tweak her nose, "anything, darlin'."

Kakashi rolled her eyes while Sakura squealed for the umpteenth time that day and threw her arms around Genma's neck. Genma glanced at Kakashi and smirked, bringing his hand ever so slowly down the kunoichi's back. Kakashi stared back dubiously. If Genma actually did it, he'd end up across the room.

Fortunately, Sakura pulled away in time, and re-situated herself. Momentarily disappointed, Genma brightened when he thought of a new idea.

"Drinks all around!" He snapped up to snatch some alcohol from the unsuspecting bartender-ette who would fall prey to his good looks and charisma, and left his friends at the table.

"Good, I was waiting for the idiot to leave," Kakashi muttered. "Sakura, are you sure about this?"

Sakura twisted her lips as she thought.

"Well, yes. I know that Genma will be a complete and utter lech, but-"

"I didn't mean that."

"Oh," She thought for a moment. "Then what did you mean?"

"Are you fine with letting Sasuke fend for himself to find a Host when the only adult shinobi he's familiar with is pretty much me?" Sakura widened her already large green orbs.

"You don't want to be my Host," She whispered in a deadly voice.

"No, no, Sakura-"

"Hatake. Let me lay this out for you. I'm being forced to marry someone I abhor and he me, for a damn _mission_. I am going to have this _my_ way or no way because being a ninja is screwing up my normal life, yet again," With that, she abruptly stood, rocking the small wooden fixture in between them. Kakashi sighed. She did have a point there. Still, he probably should have chosen his wording a bit more carefully with her being so emotionally unstable right now.

Genma appeared by the tableside, arms laden with assorted alcoholic beverages.

"Heeyyy," he whined, setting down the drinks, "what'd you do to scare off the cherry blossom, Hatake?"

Kakashi didn't reply; instead he grabbed a glass and downed it.

* * *

The rest of the day for Sasuke was spent wandering around Konoha, lost in his thoughts. He had pushed away any remains of Sakura's past from his mind into the forbidden zone, and focused on the task at hand; acquiring a friggin' host.

He had realized after Kakashi left that he had only been familiar with the pervert, and had never taken the time to know any of the other mentors or jounin like his teammates had. There was always Iruka, as he had been the Academy professor. But even then, Sasuke had been a withdrawn numbskull, rude to teachers and students alike.

Still, it was the only path to tread on now. He just wished for the day when this would all be over; unfortunately, it would take several months to complete the mission. Several months in which Sakura would likely fall in love with him again, and he'd have to be agitated the rest of the damn mission.

Because, who could not love the Uchiha?

"Wow, Sasuke-kun, this is an honor, really," Iruka was at his desk at the Academy, class being over for the day. Sasuke stood before him with his hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but the widely grinning chuunin. At least now he had a Host, even if it was this pathetic sap-

"But I'm sorry, I've already agreed to guard duties that day, by request of Sakura-chan," He shrugged meekly, trying not to become alarmed at the furious dark aura beginning to surround Sasuke.

She had to be doing this purposely. Why else would she procure the only adult ninjas he knew beforehand so they would have no choice but reject his proposal for a Host position? That little pink-haired, conniving, skanky, WITCH! He was fuming now, and swept out of the room before the chunin could sweat drop any more.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: I know you're all saying FINALLY and then after you finished...WTF THIS IS IT? Well...yes . Don't kill me. I have some good ideas for the next chapter, and since right now I'm on a car trip I might get around to a little bit of it. And then there's a new semester with much more work I have to do in those classes, and indoor drumline now :x yes, I know, and I'm sorry!! But add that to my perpetual laziness, and you have the equation for another hell of a long time to wait. Again, my apologies. But I won't ever completely stop this story. And in 24 years when its finally finished, I hope it will be worth it. Probably not. But I do hope.


	5. Part 1: Ch 4:The Wedding

A/N: At long (probably) last, a new chapter! I began with high hopes, but as it's already been a few months after writing this first paragraph, those hopes have dwindled. I've got a lot of ideas about future parts (there's still so MUCH to go!), and the wedding…which I'm still worried about the reaction (even if it's not that big of a deal).

Disclaimer: I forgot I was doing something with characters saying it….let's just forget that, mmkay?

We Have to _What?_

**Chapter Four**: _Finally, the Day Everyone in Konoha Has Been Waiting For Except the Main Actors in the Most Famous Act to Occur Yet_

_Or_

_The Wedding_

"Time Until Sakura And Sasuke Walk Down the Aisle: T-minus 12 hours, 52 minutes, 23 seconds and counting. 22…21…"

Sasuke could not imagine gaping at the newly erected _countdown_ in the main Konoha Square for more than a mere minute. 5 had now passed. The "Sasu/Saku Shippers" (What does that even _mean?_ he pondered) had created this massive electronic billboard to remind everyone to attend what was sure to be the celebration of the millennium. It was the most gossiped, most debated, most seemingly-suspicious, most anxiously awaited event to hit Konoha in over 220 years. The last being when the Hokage had several affairs, the most infamous with the Kazekage's teenage daughter who he had illegitimate children with and later married. Everyone from both nations attended the wedding just to bear witness to the Kazekage forgetting he was a formidable shinobi and simply decking the Hokage.

Tabloids were springing up like oil in Saudi Arabia. On every corner, and at least two in between, there were stands spouting all sorts of propaganda, with ridiculous headlines such as: TEAMMATES OF MARRYING PAIR IN DEATH DUEL FOR FUTURE CHILD CUSTODY, and not-so-ridiculous headlines: SOUND NIN SUSPECTED TO CRASH CEREMONY. Sasuke saw them more often than not in the anti-Sasu/Saku fans hands', reading with the hope that the some tragedy would befall the couple; not tragic enough to mar the features of either, but just enough so that the wedding would be cancelled and never rescheduled.

However, Sasuke barely paid any attention because he himself would get his hopes up that these ludicrous rumors were indeed true and his weeding would be cancelled. Simple preparations were putting him through hell; actually _marrying_ this girl? Thank the 4th Hokage he could nullify their marriage as soon as the mission was completed. This monster woman had already ruined his life by forcing him to search every crag and cranny of Konoha for a suitable Host. Now he had less than 13 hours and counting to do so.

Sakura seemed to have procured everyone from Kurenai-sensei, who she hadn't even been quite acquainted with, that he knew of; to the kind old woman he bought the best tomatoes from. Each was to perform in some minuscule way during the wedding that would become an impediment in becoming a Host. The most annoying part was that they were all honored in every diminutive manner that they could aid the social event of their lives. More honored, it seemed, to help Sakura than to become his Host. It probably didn't help that he was more so disliked than liked among the Konoha community. However, there had to be someone in this godforsaken village that would be willing to bat a blind eye to his not-so-distant past and try to help a fella' out! …The only plausible explanation was that she did it on purpose. The little, conniving, pink-haired BITCH!

Shooting death glares at the revolting pink and blue sign that sported the Uchiha and Haruno clan and family symbols coming together from either side of the countdown in a technological fashion definitely did nothing to improve his mood. Sasuke grimaced and began zipping across rooftops towards the training grounds, making sure to cause ceiling dust float down into everyone's apartment as he stomped extra hard on each roof he passed.

* * *

A shining sun. Some singing birds. A hive of buzzing bees. A merry blue sky. And the ever-popular rhythmic _thump_ of Sasuke beating the bark off of a tree in frustration.

He really couldn't understand the girl. Surely, she was not happy with the arrangement (neither was he!), but she seemed to realize that it was an imperative part of their mission. Truthfully, he had expected her to squeal with joy at the prospect of spending such a long period of time with him. Her cold dismissal of the case proved to him that he not only didn't know what he was talking about, but that she had also matured greatly and was no longer someone he knew. They were strangers, and strangers thrust into this godforsaken mission together.

However, he supposed they were not so strange to one another that she would still not bear some grudges against him. Unfortunately, as much as he felt self-righteous in his decisions, he could not blame her for her ill will. Bitterly, he understood that leaving her out cold on a park bench in the middle of the night could possibly have repercussions later in their lives. It wasn't as if he thought he was ever coming home-

"Why, this is QUITE a surprise!" An overly-cheerful voice flooded the area. The sun seemed to shine even brighter, birds began an energetic rhythm, and the bees buzzed merrily around the new comer. Might Gai stepped from behind a tree, smile in place that glinted from the bright sun and into Sasuke's eyes. Squinting, he attempted to keep his glare in place, but found it almost impossible.

"Ah, my boy, you do not know the joy that flooded the gates of my eyes after learning that you finally learned that the way to most enjoy the sunshine of your youth is to marry one who allows that sun to shine!" He wiped his eyes and laid a heavy hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke nearly scowled; rarely had he spoken to Gai in his life. However, Gai didn't seem that to be any reason not to act as if he had raised him from a child-

_Click_

Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked at Gai.

"Why, yes, Master Gai, I must have found the light," He spoke in nearly mocking tones, but Gai did not notice the difference. Gai's eyes shone even brighter than before, and tears sparkled at the creases. "And in my…holy matrimony to…Sakura," Sasuke was nearly choking on the ridiculousness of his words and how they in no way portrayed his true feelings. Gai, however, was nearly flooding his shoes by now with his tears. "I would be honored to have you as a Hos-"

"I ACCEPT!" The tears had evaporated with the fire now evident in his eyes. "Dearest boy, I shall make sure that your nuptials shall be as holy as the antelope grazes in-" Gai continued his monologue as Sasuke slipped away without notice.

He flew along the trees, a weight seemingly lifted from his shoulders. Now his outfit was bought, his Host was prepared, and all he had to do was pick up the pre-ordered wedding bands. But after that…

He'd be marrying the person closest to a nemesis that he had.

* * *

Finally, the countdown had reached 0. The town was deserted; if this was a western, tumbleweeds would be tumblin' down the dirt roads. Everyone in the village was either out of the loop on a mission, or crowding the area Sakura had chosen to be falsely married in; Training Area 4, abundant with tall trees and many little rivers. She had always dreamed of a more "natural" wedding, and with open invitation to all of Konoha, this was almost necessary.

Sasuke wasn't too happy, of course. He was disgusted at the deemed "adorable" altar constructed for the wedding that he had to stand under. The white latticed arch was the centerpiece, decorated with pale pink flowers, surely the color of Sakura's hair. Real flowers of every color had been provided by the Yamanaka's to decorate the whole training area, leading up to the outdoor "chapel" and the creative arrangements ranged from vines to elephants to simple clusters. All ninjas and normal citizens of the village were dressed in their finest, which included unpleasant colors of the most girly flavors. It was any little girl's fantasy while it made Sasuke scowl uncontrollably.

"Oh, he must be so nervous," sighed an elderly woman. "It _is_ nearly show time," chimed in her daughter. With that comment, the curtain above the altar fell, hiding Sasuke from view, while also blinding him of the audience and aisle. While he was able to breathe a sigh of relief and actually look around without wanting to throw up based on the wide variety of clashing colors, he found he was no better off locked inside the "cozy" tent with his Host. Gai had determined it his duty to teach Sasuke everything he thought he knew about women; the talk about the birds and the bees was his next topic.

"Since I have yet to reach this stage in my relationship with my own adopted son, Lee, I would be grateful to try it out on you first, my dear Sasuke. I hope you will be able to see me as a father figure and take this conversation to come quite seriously-" Sasuke was quite seriously ready to stuff the man full of flowers up the ass.

* * *

Sakura sat in one of the tents at the beginning of the aisle. She wasn't really nervous; it wasn't her real wedding anyway. All this hype and flash…she was waiting for the day she would truly wed, a quiet ceremony with only the Hokage as their witness. Practical clothing and no drama. If she was truly in love, it wouldn't matter…

For now though, she couldn't deny Ino her enjoyment. She had made up Sakura's hair extravagantly, with the most exquisite flowers from her shop adorning her 'do. Rose ringlets framed her face, making a picture of perfection. Her makeup was done gently, highlighting her delicate features without overpowering them. If there was any day she was allowed to be described in a completely Mary-Sue way, this would be the day.

Finally, she stood and looked herself up and down in the mirror for the last time. Although she was humbled by her lifestyle and additionally not very vain, she could not help but be shocked at her own appearance. She saw Sasuke as the enemy, and making the enemy fall to his knees (oh, that would be the day!) in the presence of her beauty would do nothing but bring power to her! With a dark chuckle at that thought, she left the tent to be wed.

Kakashi and Genma were waiting outside, and as Sakura ducked under the tent flap and straightened, smoothing out her robes, only to hear the clatter of a senbon as it hit the floor. Looking up, she was pleasantly surprised to see Genma's eyes on her, not in a lecherous way, but truly in awe of how she looked tonight. Kakashi's lone eye (his Sharingan covered for this occasion by a dashing black eye-patch) had widened at her appearance, but slowly closed into a truly happy crease when she met his gaze.

"Ready, boys?" She asked teasingly, and offered her arms to her most beloved. Genma continuously looked at her, and shook his head. Kakashi grinned at his partner's infatuation and threw Sakura's white veil over her head and it tumbled below her knees. A lengthy white sheet now covered the groom, and also the bride. All heads turned as they placed themselves at the start of the walkway, and necks craned to catch a glimpse of the elusive bride, although in this ceremony she would only be revealed by the husband to be.

"Please, Sakura, promise me that if this doesn't work…" Genma pleaded with her as they began their long journey up the aisle. There was a curtain covering the altar, where Sasuke was ready to strangle himself to death, if only to get escape from Gai's incessant chatter. "…that you'll marry me the instant it's over. I don't know how I could life without you, you're everything I've ever wanted, and-"

"Genma, please refrain from continuing your appeals at love when we both know you've left every girl you promised to "carry over the threshold of your new life together" waiting at the altar and then cursing your name," Kakashi said tiredly, thoroughly exhausted with Genma's feeble attempts to stop the wedding. "If you want to marry Sakura so badly, how about you fight the legendary Uchiha for her?"

Genma turned a bit white at that and managed a laugh. "I guess you don't mean enough to me to ruin this face my dear-"

Sakura managed to elbow the narcissistic idiot while keeping a small smile on her unseen face. Although she wasn't able to see, she could feel the chakras leaping and bouncing from the guests, all anxiously waiting to see the bride revealed before them and eager for the festivities to begin. With almost the whole of Konoha in attendance, it was not a short traipse up the aisle. For several long, excruciating minutes, Sakura pulled along her two reluctant Hosts to the looming altar.

Even if this was not real, even if the charade would be over in a matter of months, as her steps were halted, presumably in front of the covered altar, butterflies fluttered in the pit of her stomach. As much as it was not a legitimate ceremony in Sakura's eyes, it sure was in thousands of others'. Knowing that she would be wed to Uchiha Sasuke in front of all these people-

Without preamble the curtain was lifted from the altar. Sasuke blinked against the sunlight and looked at the individual covered in white standing before him. Obviously Sakura, she was flanked by Genma and Kakashi, the former looking forlorn and the latter plainly pooped. At the slight nod from Kakashi, Sasuke lifted the white view and tossed it to Sakura's slippered feet. Sasuke's gaze flickered down as Sakura's lifted and ebony met emerald.

For the longest moment of his life, Sasuke's mind went blank. No thoughts were processed, and only blank shock was on his face. However, being Sasuke endowed him the certain ability to have his mind up and running again in the blink of an eye, and his expression was easily morphed back to blank indifference, with a side of _"let's get this over with". _

However, not everyone was so easily distracted. Sakura had noticed the glimmer of surprise in his gaze and, knowing Sasuke as nearly everyone did, that was unexpected, to say the least. Showing emotion? That was strictly forbidden in his book. Apparently, though, Sakura's appearance could not help but conjure such sentiment. It wasn't surprising, the way she looked.

Dressed in pure white, with the fallen veil shrouding her feet, Sakura appeared to have fallen straight from the heavens. The first part of the outfit was a sheer slip that crossed her breasts and was pulled tightly behind her back. It clung to her curves and provided a frame for the remainder of the cloth to follow.

Over that was a silk skirt, reaching and pooling on the floor beneath her, and tying off to the side, with a long slit up to her thigh. Then a large, and again white, mid-torso overcoat with long, draping sleeves was bound at her belly button.

The back of the jacket draped down past her lower back. In the very center of it was a blood red Haruno circle. This was the last time she would wear her family's symbol as she would soon receive the Uchiha fan to adorn her clothes. It was a fact she deeply abhorred, preferring the simple ring to the cursed fan.

The hair that made her infamous was pulled up in a braided knot, with several curled strands loose around her face here and there. White lilies poked out from pink tresses and dew drops lazed on the soft petals. There was some sort of shimmer powder Ino had discovered and therefore poured into Sakura's hair catching the light of the sunset glinting through the forest. She fit in perfectly with her environment, as a tree nymph or mythological Greek goddess.

Sasuke, keeping his gaze cool and level, was not able to keep his eyes off of her. In comparison, the Uchiha quite obviously paled. His dark blue robes were adorned with an overcoat similar in design to Sakura's that had his fan embroidered onto it instead.

Sakura took the few steps up to the platform, followed by Kakashi and Genma. Ino, Naruto and Tsunade appeared unanimously in one cloud of smoke, the younger attendants taking their places respectively to the left and right hand side of Sakura and Sasuke while Tsunade stood in front of them. She raised her head and spoke to the crowd before them:

"My dear citizens of Konoha…today we all gather to celebrate the joyous union of Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. This match will not only be profitable to the couple, but will continue to bring prosper to the entire village. Such a strong combination of power and personality will be sure to bring us plenty of thrilling experiences, especially once we meet their offspring!" Sakura closed her eyes and thought that the day she even saw Sasuke naked she would have to kill herself. Sasuke merely tuned out the Hokage.

"Without further ado, I will now ask that the Hosts exchange words with the opposite party." At this, Kakashi and Genma stepped over to Sasuke, while Gai pranced to where Sakura stood.

"My dear, beautiful, superb, magnificent girl! How full of youth you appear today! And on such an occasion such as this, it is only befitting that you should look so! As I mentioned to Sasuke earlier-"

Sasuke, who had been listening to Gai preach since he requested him as a Host earlier that day, was thankful to have new voices to listen to. Not that he wasn't quickly annoyed when Genma began to whine.

"It's just not fair Kakashi, how come she would never marry me, not once, when I asked, and I'm sure I asked more times than I can count-"

"Genma, maybe if you weren't either stoned or trying to get in her pants each time you asked, she might have taken you a little more seriously-"

"If Sakura doesn't realize how much she means to me by now, I suppose it's hopeless-"

"Yes, it is completely and utterly hopeless, so give up now while you still have your dignity-"

"Oh, you can't really think that! You see the way we act; it's not like anyone else I know! She's my one and only, Kakashi, and with her gone I don't know what I'll do-"

"You'll go get drunk at some godforsaken bar and take home some civilian who's just as drunk as you, and won't give Sakura a second thought-"

"Do you two," Sasuke interrupted irritably, "have anything to say to me? Or can we get on with this?"

Kakashi stopped his exasperated replies to his complaining companion and gave a nod to the waiting Tsunade. Sakura had gotten Gai to shut up as well, and they walked back to their original positions. The ceremony began.

* * *

After many pretty words were spoken, and each ninja had declared their intentions as true (although knowing in the back of their minds that they were lying to over fifteen thousand Konoha citizens), Tsunade announced that the Clan Separation was to take place. Any with cameras scuttled to retrieve them, as this was the portion of the ceremony that was most commonly photographed.

Sighing on the inside, Sakura turned to face her husband to-be. It was the first time they had looked at each other since Sakura had noticed his slight shock at her apparently overwhelming appearance. At the moment however, he seemed to wish nothing but a meditation and rest. However, in one fluid motion he took his own coat from his shoulders and laid it on his arm. With his free hand, he unbuttoned her jacket and flung the white fabric containing the Haruno symbol away from the altar. He threw his jacket around her shoulders and deftly fastened it.

The process completed, both man and woman turned to Tsunade. She scrunched up her mouth, disappointed at the efficient exchange and lack of affection, and then broke out into a smile.

"Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Sakura, you are now man and wife." She nudged Sasuke. "Go on, kiss her." She added with a wink. Sasuke rolled his eyes, only visible to Tsunade, and turned again to Sakura.

For a minute, she was uncertain; _would he actually go through with this?_

Sensing at her hesitation and smirking, Sasuke made a grand show by taking her waist in his arms and dramatically leaning her down away from the audience so it would appear to everyone before them as a passionate scene. His smirk had disappeared and he was merely leaving warm breath on her nose while she watched with a bemused expression.

"Oh, you're good." She admitted, relieved that nothing further had taken place. True to his nature, Sasuke only grunted and lifted her right-upside up again. The enormous audience was on their feet, shrieking and clapping, throwing small shuriken and rice (depending on if you were ninja or not) to either embed in the wood work of the altar or in the pines scattering the forest floor.

Sakura and Sasuke disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the crowd to revel in what a splendid ceremony that had just occurred.

Tsunade poofed away as well, as the pair was heading to her office for one last mission debriefing before heading off on their "honeymoon" in the early hours of the morning.

Unfortunately, if the few shadows in the high limbs of far off trees observing the festivities were any indication, their holiday would be far from merry.

**A/N**: Whoa whoa whoa! I updated?!? Good stuff. It might be a little confusing as to what Sakura' outfit looks like, but I'm sure you all have semi-working imaginations to fill in the blanks :) And ooooh, I included some mystery at the end! Big surprise there. But of course, don't expect any chapters for many more months to come…

Sigh. I'm right where I began a year ago and no more work has happened. I'm a reject. You can review to make me feel better however : ) Until next time -baka


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